Entry #8-My Final Reflections

It's hard to believe this is my final "official" nature blog. The time went so fast and I feel a mixture of sadness and happiness to move on to the next step in my journey. This class, and this blog experience, really opened my eyes to a whole new way of writing. I always wanted to write a blog, and I definitely think I will continue some type of blog after this class. I think of a blog as a journal, and since I have a hundred journals mostly unfilled, I realize this is a perfect outlet for me. I may continue a blog of a different theme, such as just my daily experiences with life and trying to focus on a spiritual and positive state of mind throughout the day, in the easy moments and the hard ones. Well, let me move on to my last official experience of my favorite place.


Date: December 8, 2013
Time: 1:00PM
Weather: Snow flurries, cold



I walk down the path towards my favorite spot and take a seat on the bench, dusting the layer of snow off with my gloved hand. The bench is a little cold beneath me, but it feels refreshing. I feel like I just splashed cold water on my face in the morning to wipe the sleep out of my eyes. Winter is not my favorite season, as I love the sun and warmer temperatures (but not too hot), but the fresh, white, fluffy snow looks absolutely gorgeous on the bare branches of the trees. As fall progresses and the leaves change to beautiful hues, eventually the leaves fall to the ground, leaving bare branches. This part of fall is always a little depressing because the world looks barren, deserted, and lonely. Winter creeps in, and before we know it, the branches are no longer bare, but are covered with a beautiful coat of white snow, adding depth and character to an otherwise plain decor. Although a tree to me never is ordinary and plain, for it is innately extraordinary and beautiful, the snow just adds a little external beauty for our viewing pleasure.

What a severe yet master artist old Winter is.... No longer the canvas and the pigments, but the marble and the chisel. ~John Burroughs, "The Snow-Walkers," 1866


I glance around to see if my favorite friends are close by, and I spot them further down the path by the lake. At least ten of them lay on the snow covered grass at the edge of the cold, icy water. I don't blame them for not wanting to take a swim today, for the water is freezing. A few of them huddle close together, providing each other warmth. Once again, I feel grateful for the privilege and opportunity to observe these beautiful creatures in their natural habitat. I don't feel like an intruder, but a welcomed guest. A few of the ducks are adorned with a deep, velvety green color on their necks, which looks astoundingly beautiful and vibrant against the white snow. The green makes me think of Christmas, which is quickly approaching. I wish I knew more of what these ducks are thinking and what they are communicating when they call out. I guess there is really no way to know what thoughts a duck keeps. This is a mystery of nature.

I stay for about a half an hour, and get up to leave. It's really cold out here, especially by the water! I slowly walk up the path, pausing, to take a look at this special place. I feel a tear form in my eye, a tear of gratefulness and wonder, of this transformative place. I never imagined that I would cultivate such an intimate and comfortable relationship with this piece of nature. I know, whether in snow or sunshine, I have a place I can visit and just "be". I don't have to put on any fake facades and I can come as I am, and feel what I feel. This place is magic. Somehow it takes whatever I bring with me, any pain or sadness or fear, and makes me feel better, more at peace. I smile at the ducks and wish them peace and safety. I thank them for allowing me to be a part of their world, for befriending me. I know I will be back soon, so this is not the end. In fact, this is just the beginning.



Nature looks dead in winter because her life is gathered into her heart. She withers the plant down to the root that she may grow it up again fairer and stronger. She calls her family together within her inmost home to prepare them for being scattered abroad upon the face of the earth. ~Hugh Macmillan, "Rejuvenescence," The Ministry of Nature, 1871

Entry #7-Meditation in nature

Nature...the only love that does not deceive human hope

-Honore de Balzac

After sleeping through a hundred million centuries we have finally opened our eyes on a sumptuous planet, sparkling with color, bountiful with life. Within decades we must close our eyes again. Isn’t it a noble, an enlightened way of spending our brief time in the sun, to work at understanding the universe and how we have come to wake up in it? This is how I answer when I am asked—as I am surprisingly often—why I bother to get up in the mornings.

-Richard Dawkins

I need solace in nature like I need air to breathe. Lately, my life has been extremely hectic and stressful, but I know life can be like this sometimes.

My Grandma’s apartment caught on fire last week, but she was not injured. She was heating food on the stove and accidentally turned on the wrong burner that had plastic containers on it. The whole kitchen was damaged beyond recognition, and the rest of the apartment suffered extreme smoke damage. My grandma is 86 years old, so she is not able to do all the things she used to do, and sometimes she forgets certain things. She is staying at our house until her apartment is put back together, which will take at least 4 months.

Throughout a stressful event like this, I still had to go on with my life. I still have class, homework, and work. I took a personal day from work to help my mom with getting some of her clothes and personal belongings out of the apartment.

No matter how busy and stressed out I am; I have to continue to take care of myself, mentally, physically, and spiritually. Coming to my favorite place is part of my personal medicine and helps me in all three ways. I decide to sit on my favorite bench, but instead of looking around and exploring, I decide to try something different. I close my eyes and take a few deep, cleansing breaths.

Throughout the years, meditation has always been a part of my life, and I am trying to incorporate it in my life on a daily basis. It is quiet, no one else is in the park, and I have it all to myself. With my eyes closed, I can hear the duck calls and the soft breeze blowing through the trees. Most of the trees are bare and colored leaves still scatter the ground. I know the ground will be covered in snow soon.

Nature penetrates my soul with her calm healing power. She breathes in my soul, blowing away the stress like leaves in the wind. I feel more balanced, more centered. I continue to keep my eyes closed for about 10 minutes, really trying to focus my attention on my breath, which becomes one with Nature's breath. She offers me cleansing and renewing air to breathe in. This place has become my refuge, my place of solace.

Entry #6-Seasons of Change

Date:  October 15, 2013
Time:   Around Noon
Weather:  Partly Sunny, Chilly, Breezy

                                         Seasons of Change

I allow extra time to spend in my favorite spot.  I need it.  The last few weeks have contained many hard lessons. As a result, I have grown so much, but this growth coexisted with plenty of pain.  I guess pain is a catalyst for change.  If I believed everything in my life was perfect or going in the right direction, then why would I attempt to change anything? 

I quit smoking cigarettes a few years ago for a substantial amount of time.  However, in the past year I started smoking on and off.  In times of stress, I tend to revert back to my old habit and then beat myself up for starting again.  Well, the last few weeks have been very difficult in many ways, so I again picked my old habit back up.  I knew this was going against everything I believe in—a healthy body, mind, and soul—I knew I had to stop.  So yesterday around 2:30 PM, I had my last cigarette.  I quit before for years after completing the nine week program using the nicotine patch, so I chose this weapon again.  So far, so good.  

Once again, I know it’s a moment at a time.  I can only focus on not smoking this moment.  Actually, I really have not thought about it as much as I thought I would.  I feel so at peace and content, feelings that eluded me the last few weeks.  My choice to quit aligns up with my beliefs.  I believe one of the reasons I felt a little off balance emotionally the last few weeks transpired because of the discrepancy between my actions and desires for my life. 

***

            

 As I sit on the bench under the tree overlooking the lake, a lot of thoughts cross my mind.  I notice ripples dancing on top of the water, creating a unique pattern.  The blue sky is interspersed with thin wispy

white clouds.  I welcome the crisp fall air, it wakes me up a little.  I feel like I have been “awakened” to many truths about myself in the past few weeks, like the fall air entered my soul and washed away all the useless debris.  I could stare out at the lake for hours, simply watching the hypnotic movement of the water and listening to the silence.

The only sounds breaking up the silence is the occasional duck call, which I welcome.  I sometimes prefer conversing with nature over conversing with people.  Whenever I enter this beautiful landscape, I feel like it reaches out and embraces me, like a loving mother.  This place accepts me no matter how I feel, whether I feel depressed, happy, sad, angry, or a combination of emotions.  This place does not place judgment, it only welcomes.

            

I make my way down towards the water, where my friends are bathing and resting.  No matter the circumstances, my friends always bring a smile to my face.  I admire their simple beauty, grace, and

ability to go with the flow of life.  They float on top of the water with
ease and then can glide through the sky, weightless.  A few ducks begin to walk up the little hill by the lake towards me, and I stand as still as possible, I don’t want to frighten them away.  They come within inches of me, as if welcoming me and extending their webbed feet in friendship.  This is an amazing moment.  I never stood so close to these ducks before, any ducks for that matter.  I feel truly grateful for their trust.  I wish I brought some bread to feed them.  I make a mental note to bring some a long next time.  I want to give them something back, for all that they give me.

I notice most of the surrounding trees are bare, most of the leaves have fallen on the ground.  Winter is coming.  My life seems to change with the seasons.  My heart feels lighter, my mind more at ease.  The leaves crunch beneath my feet.  The trees part with their leaves with little resistance.  They realize losing their leaves is part of the process.  I know the less resistance I hold to change in my life, the more peace I will gain. Change is inevitable, and it is a vital part in the growth process.      

                

Entry #5-The Present Moment

Date- Thursday October 31, 2013
Time- 2:13 PM
Weather- Partly sunny, cool, a little breezy

Your outer journey may contain a million steps; your inner journey only has one: the step you are taking right now.”
― Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment

     I take a seat on my familiar bench underneath a tree decorated with colorful leaves in deep colors of orange, yellow, and red.  As I take in the beauty surrounding me, I reflect on the importance of spirituality in my life.  I realize that nature already lives these spiritual principles that I strive so hard to incorporate into my daily life, such as living in the moment and trying to gain control over the incessant chattering in my mind.   

The bright leaves

     I think about one of the most powerful books I read called The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle.  Eckhart Tolle is a spiritual teacher who does not identify with any particular faith.  He reminds us of the truth that we already know, it's just that our minds are making too much noise to hear it.  We are more than the incessant thinking of our minds.  I can listen to the "voice in my head" and observe how it makes judgments, has likes and dislikes, compares, and constantly retreats to the past or jumps into the future.  

 

View of the lake 

     What happens to the present moment?  Can I just sit on this bench and be here, only here, as fully as possible? 

All of the worries and to-do lists of the day run through my head for a few moments, but I then remember the wisdom passed on to me.  I use a few techniques I learned from The Power of Now, such as focusing on my breath and on every detail of my surroundings.  I close my eyes and take a deep, cleansing breath and exhale fully.  I imagine exhaling all the worries, fears, projections, the past and the future into the cool, clean crisp fall air.  The only thing that remains is the present.

       I notice the family of ducks sitting by the edge of the lake.  I decide to move a little closer to observe. The ducks become my teachers in this moment, of how to bask in the moment, enjoying the here and now. Two of the ducks take a little nap while the others are relaxing by the water or taking a little swim.  I move up a little closer, trying not to make too much noise and wake them.  I feel welcomed, trusted, and deeply grateful for them to allow me to enter their world. 

Two sleeping ducks

      I am amazed how close I am, and how the two ducks sleep in perfect peace even though a human is right beside them.  I think of how ducks must sense danger in order to protect themselves, it is an instinct.  I smile because I know they can sense that I am not a threat, that I come in peace, curiosity, and love.  

     The two ducks who are sleeping are mainly gray in color, but some of the other ducks have a bright blue or green velvety patch of color on their heads.  The colors are striking and beautiful.  The ducks believe "less is more" concerning accessories, their natural beauty is enough, it is more breathtaking than diamonds and rubies. 

The family of ducks

      As I make my way a little closer, the two sleeping ducks open their eyes for a brief moment, just to check things out, but then close them quickly, returning to their afternoon nap, knowing all is well in their world.  One of the ducks begins to make loud sounds, I wish I knew what he or she was saying, but it must have not been that important because the two ducks did not even bother to open their eyes to check it out.                                                                          

The beautiful ducks

     The one duck continues to loudly vocalize his or her thoughts or feelings, and begins to rouse the others.  All of a sudden, they all begin to move towards the left part of the lake, some swimming, some flying, and some waddling.  I did not know what was beckoning them, but something was. They were in the moment, moving with the soft flow of life. I am sure they didn't think about whether to get up and move, they just did it.  They just moved on to their next adventure, their next moment in life.  

Night at the Park

October 20, 2013

I decided to take my dog for a walk at our favorite spot at Burrell Lake Park on my day off, but we did not end up arriving until dusk.  My mom, my Chihuahua, and I decided we had about 15 minutes or so before it got dark, so we took advantage of it.  We made it one time around the lake before the sky turned from dusk to dark.  I never visited the park in the evening, so this proved a new experience for me, as well as my mom and Ziggy!  

I have to say, the view was absolutely spectacular. As the sun went down, the water looked very dark, but the small amount of light reflected off the surface of the lake.  The sky was a crisp denim blue and the weather was about 48 degrees, so it felt a little brisk.  The weather felt a little too cold for just a sweater, a light coat would have been great!  

Yesterday, I did not see my family of ducks, but this evening I saw them assembled by the lake as if they were conducting an important meeting of some sort.  At least 15 ducks were gathered on the walkway by the lake, talking among themselves, many of them very loud and vocal.  My mom and I both laughed because it really did seem like they had a secret meeting time going on.  My dog never really paid much attention to the ducks the first time he saw them years ago, and not much has changed.  He is more interested in peeing on everything and sniffing around than paying attention to the ducks.  My dog did not seem to mind it was evening and a little chilly out.  He had on a little blue sweater and conducted his business like any other ordinary walk.  

I wished I had a better camera than the one on my phone, because the scenery was gorgeous!  The ducks gathered at their "meeting", all took flight together a few moments later, all in unison, in a beautiful swirl in the sky!  Some of them skimmed the surface of the lake at one point, splashing a little water.  

An evening look at the lake

My dog in the park on his evening walk in his little blue sweater

Entry #4- Language of the Leaves

Date: October 19, 2013

Time 2:17 PM

Weather: Very light drizzle, off and on, brought an umbrella but did not need it.

Colorful leaves sprinkle the ground



As I walked into the park, my eyes went immediately to the colorful array of leaves scattered on the ground like colorful candy sprinkles. At once, I noticed the beautiful silence, with only the sound of the of the raindrops kissing the surface of the lake. I glanced around to catch a glimpse of the ducks, but I did not see them from where I sat. I walked further down around the lake and still did not spot them. I wonder where they went?



A beehive

Colorful leaves











I looked up at the trees, and noticed a few with bare branches, the wind propelled the leaves off the branches to the ground. As I walked around to take pictures, the ground was wet and muddy in some areas, so I got a little mud on my shoes. This did not bother me at all, as I actually welcomed the touch of earth on me. I sat back down at the picnic table, and a soft breeze blew a few leaves down from the trees, like rain from the sky. As I walked along, I noticed a beehive nestled in a tree, at least I think it is a beehive!

I saw a man walking his dog around the lake, and this made me miss my dog.  He loves to visit this park, and with my hectic schedule, I rarely have time to bring him anymore.  I make a mental note to try to bring him here tomorrow, which is my day off from work.  I hope the weather is nice and not too cool or rainy.  Like the short seasons that come to pass, each day of my life seems to go by so quickly.  It seems difficult to find time for the ones I love because I am pulled in a million different directions from daily obligations.  I always feel a need to spend more time in nature, with my dog, and with my family and friends.  I also feel like I go through the motions of life too quickly and do not take the time to enjoy the moment and the beauty right in front of my face.



View of lake and orange tree in distance



The leaves on the ground and some bare branches indicated more changes in the season, as in life. Fall would come to an end soon, and winter will cover us with a blanket of white. I did not feel sad about this, but at peace. Change is inevitable, and the change of seasons only reminds me of the changes in my own life, from moment to moment, I change.



Beautiful red leaves



















Entry #3- The Wisdom of Nature

October 4, 2013
2:03 PM
Weather is warm, in 70's, sunny with fluffy white clouds

Today the weather is sunny, comfortably warm with a soft breeze, and they sky is baby blue interspersed with puffy white clouds that look like cotton candy.



I sit on a bench in the middle of the park, nestled in the middle of tall trees, a canopy of outstretched limbs. I feel a bit sad today, not exactly sure why, but I relish in the solitude nature provides. I really don’t feel like interacting with other people today, I need time alone with my thoughts and feelings. I can only stay for a short time before I venture to work, where solitude vanishes the moment I walk across the threshold. I enjoy my privacy, solitude, and quietness in my favorite place. I take a few deep breaths, purifying and renewing. I can breathe here. It is intoxicatingly quiet.

As I sit on the bench, a few bugs decide to land on my arm, but I try to brush them off gently, so I do not hurt them. No matter how small, how hideous some appear, they are still living things, and I do not feel like I have the right to kill one for no reason. I glance up at the trees with their colorful leaves towering over me, and feel small in their presence. An array of leaves in different shades of brown, yellow, red, and orange, decorate the green grass like confetti, as if the trees threw a party in celebration of fall.

I set eyes on a handful of ducks that sit on a path by the lake. I admire the peacefulness they radiate, how they rest without a care in the world. The elements of nature take on the role as my teacher, and I welcome the wisdom. The ducks urge me to quiet my mind, to rest, to take time to sit and do absolutely nothing but enjoy the present moment. The trees, like wise elders, remind me I am never alone and my problems only seem immense and unsolvable sometimes, like trying to piece together a puzzle with missing pieces, but in reality they are not as complex as my mind makes them. I can choose to label situations in my life as problems, or as opportunities to change and grow. It is much easier to take on this attitude with “small” problems, not the “big” ones in my life, like a sick family member. How can I feel peaceful and at ease in the midst of these types of problems, when fear grips my heart like a vice? Hopefully nature reveals her secrets, I trust she will.

Nothing but the sound of quiet pervades my surroundings. The wind makes her presence known by gently rustling the leaves in the trees, touching my face with her soft hand, blowing my hair gently with a gust of her breath. I need to come back here often, more than once a week. My soul craves this solitude, peace, and quiet like an addict craves a drug. My soul needs this like a daily dose of medicine, as a treatment to the chaos of daily life, the chaos of my mind. Life reveals itself all around me, without another human being in sight.

I don’t want to leave, but I check the time and I cannot be late for work. I will leave the solace of this place for now, but I will return soon. I can still feel nature’s presence as I drive to work, she promises to keep me company until I can return again.

Entry #2- Risking the Rain

Date- September 21, 2013
Time- Around 2PM
Weather- Rainy, damp, cool

Picture of the Lake

I walked by the lake, with my reliable little umbrella above my head, shielding me from the raindrops falling from the sky. I laughed to myself as I imagined what I must look like, a girl at the park when it’s pouring down rain, walking around with an umbrella in one hand and a notebook in the other. A quick glance around the park revealed two other people who braved the rain, they sat on a bench under the pavilion which surprised me, because it was not the typical sunny day to spend at the park.

The raindrops hitting the lake's surface

The sky appeared much different from my last visit; it looked white as chalk, with no color and no clouds. I felt emptiness inside, sadness, much like the sky feels without any color, without any clouds, without the sunshine. At this time of year, I always feel a little gloomy with the end of summer.  I glanced down and noticed the rain hit the surface of the lake, creating a pattern of circle-like shapes, like a patchwork quilt covering the water.



I took some pictures of the scenery, and noticed a tree, with a few red leaves, painted early by Fall's strokes of color. Besides the red leaves and a few wildflowers, the scenery lacked color, with only the green trees against the white sky. This small pop of color brightened its surroundings, and it filled me with hope. I reflected on feelings, and how one minute I can feel peace and joy inside, and then the next moment I can feel sadness inside. Our world is constantly changing, never standing still, just like I am always changing, evolving, and growing. No matter how terrible I feel at certain moments, I know these feelings will pass. Hope always remains inside, as the flowers, trees, and animals go through a rough winter, they emerge in the spring renewed and splendid.




I did not notice as many creatures roaming the wilderness like my last visit, most likely caused by the rain. However, I spotted a flock of ducks, most likely the same ones I saw last time, floating across the water, effortlessly and peacefully. The rain and lack of sunshine did not seem to hinder their agendas for the day; they carried on just like they would if the sun shined down. As I reflect on the amazing resilience of these ducks and nature as a whole, I am reminded I too come from Mother Earth, I am part of nature, and I too possess


Wildflowers

amazing resilience to the ever changing seasons of my life.














 



Entry #1- Burrell Lake Park

A turtle sitting on a branch in the water

Time- 2:14 PM, Friday, September 6, 2013

Weather-  Sunny, breezy, warm

I arrived and sat on a bench, shaded by a tree.  I heard distant voices of kids playing on the jungle gym at the other end of the park.  A few people were fishing, and a young woman was walking around taking pictures of the beautiful scenery.  Although there were other people there, the park was still quiet.  I could hear the sound of the breeze blowing across the lake and the sound of the quacking of the ducks. 

I saw about 20 ducks all in a group, sitting on the grass in the shade of some trees. As many times as I have been at this park, I never saw this many ducks, and never saw them all out of the water sitting together. As I was jotting down some observations, I heard this duck make a coughing sound. I looked over and saw one duck by itself, walking towards me. I smiled and began to talk to it, yes I talk to ducks. It got close enough to me that I could reach out and touch it. He, or she, was making a coughing sound every few seconds, and I wondered if it was sick. I felt really bad for it because it seemed to be ostracized from the group of ducks sitting close by, or maybe it chose to stay away because he didn't feel well. I made a note to research what illness ducks are prone to, and if they are ostracized from the pack of ducks when they are sick.

I spoke to the young woman who was taking photographs of the scenery, and I explained that I was writing a nature blog for one of my graduate writing classes.  She said she was taking pictures for fun.  She pointed me towards the end of the lake where a turtle was sunbathing on a branch lodged in the lake.  I walked down towards the branch and smiled at the sight of a turtle just sitting there, without a care in the world.  He picked the perfect spot to get some sun.

I also met a man who was fishing, and he heard us talking about what we were working on, and he pointed us towards a snake that was in the water, trying to eat a fish.  I inched up to the lake, looking in the direction he was pointing, trying to catch a glimpse of the snake through the grass.  It was dark brown, not very long, and had a piece of fish in its mouth, presumably its dinner.  The man and I discussed what type of snake it was and if it could possibly be a poisonous Copperhead, but we were not sure.  I will have to look more into the different species of animals that inhabit the park's lake.  As I was watching the snake, I was struck by how leisurely he was in eating his dinner.  It looked as if he wasn't even moving for awhile and just had the fish in his mouth.  I thought back to the turtle, and reflected on how he was just enjoying the moment, perched on a branch in the middle of the lake, enjoying the warmth of the sun on his shell. 

The connection I felt to the different animals, along with the people I had a chance to talk to, gave me a feeling of community with my fellow nature lovers and observers.  I looked up at the sky, and the white clouds looked like swirls of cotton candy against the beautiful blue.  As I was taking in all of my experiences in a short half hour, I was overwhelmed with the flashes of nature all around me. It was an intense feeling; everywhere I looked I was attuned to all of the beautiful nature around me. I saw different color flowers, yellow, and purple, white. I noticed the bugs floating on the surface of the water. I took one sheet of paper with me to record my observations and both sides were filled in 20 minutes. I had an amazing experience, and it struck me on how much I really can see when I am paying attention.

A duck relaxing under the shade of a tree