Friday, November 22, 2013

Entry #7-Meditation in nature

Nature...the only love that does not deceive human hope
-Honore de Balzac

After sleeping through a hundred million centuries we have finally opened our eyes on a sumptuous planet, sparkling with color, bountiful with life. Within decades we must close our eyes again. Isn’t it a noble, an enlightened way of spending our brief time in the sun, to work at understanding the universe and how we have come to wake up in it? This is how I answer when I am asked—as I am surprisingly often—why I bother to get up in the mornings.
-Richard Dawkins





I need solace in nature like I need air to breathe. Lately, my life has been extremely hectic and stressful, but I know life can be like this sometimes.

My Grandma’s apartment caught on fire last week, but she was not injured. She was heating food on the stove and accidentally turned on the wrong burner that had plastic containers on it. The whole kitchen was damaged beyond recognition, and the rest of the apartment suffered extreme smoke damage. My grandma is 86 years old, so she is not able to do all the things she used to do, and sometimes she forgets certain things. She is staying at our house until her apartment is put back together, which will take at least 4 months.

Throughout a stressful event like this, I still had to go on with my life. I still have class, homework, and work. I took a personal day from work to help my mom with getting some of her clothes and personal belongings out of the apartment.

No matter how busy and stressed out I am; I have to continue to take care of myself, mentally, physically, and spiritually. Coming to my favorite place is part of my personal medicine and helps me in all three ways. I decide to sit on my favorite bench, but instead of looking around and exploring, I decide to try something different. I close my eyes and take a few deep, cleansing breaths.

Throughout the years, meditation has always been a part of my life, and I am trying to incorporate it in my life on a daily basis. It is quiet, no one else is in the park, and I have it all to myself. With my eyes closed, I can hear the duck calls and the soft breeze blowing through the trees. Most of the trees are bare and colored leaves still scatter the ground. I know the ground will be covered in snow soon.

Nature penetrates my soul with her calm healing power. She breathes in my soul, blowing away the stress like leaves in the wind. I feel more balanced, more centered. I continue to keep my eyes closed for about 10 minutes, really trying to focus my attention on my breath, which becomes one with Nature's breath. She offers me cleansing and renewing air to breathe in. This place has become my refuge, my place of solace.

Saturday, November 16, 2013

Entry #6-Seasons of Change

Date:  October 15, 2013
Time:   Around Noon
Weather:  Partly Sunny, Chilly, Breezy

                                         Seasons of Change

I allow extra time to spend in my favorite spot.  I need it.  The last few weeks have contained many hard lessons. As a result, I have grown so much, but this growth coexisted with plenty of pain.  I guess pain is a catalyst for change.  If I believed everything in my life was perfect or going in the right direction, then why would I attempt to change anything? 

I quit smoking cigarettes a few years ago for a substantial amount of time.  However, in the past year I started smoking on and off.  In times of stress, I tend to revert back to my old habit and then beat myself up for starting again.  Well, the last few weeks have been very difficult in many ways, so I again picked my old habit back up.  I knew this was going against everything I believe in—a healthy body, mind, and soul—I knew I had to stop.  So yesterday around 2:30 PM, I had my last cigarette.  I quit before for years after completing the nine week program using the nicotine patch, so I chose this weapon again.  So far, so good.  

Once again, I know it’s a moment at a time.  I can only focus on not smoking this moment.  Actually, I really have not thought about it as much as I thought I would.  I feel so at peace and content, feelings that eluded me the last few weeks.  My choice to quit aligns up with my beliefs.  I believe one of the reasons I felt a little off balance emotionally the last few weeks transpired because of the discrepancy between my actions and desires for my life. 

***
            

 As I sit on the bench under the tree overlooking the lake, a lot of thoughts cross my mind.  I notice ripples dancing on top of the water, creating a unique pattern.  The blue sky is interspersed with thin wispy
white clouds.  I welcome the crisp fall air, it wakes me up a little.  I feel like I have been “awakened” to many truths about myself in the past few weeks, like the fall air entered my soul and washed away all the useless debris.  I could stare out at the lake for hours, simply watching the hypnotic movement of the water and listening to the silence.
The only sounds breaking up the silence is the occasional duck call, which I welcome.  I sometimes prefer conversing with nature over conversing with people.  Whenever I enter this beautiful landscape, I feel like it reaches out and embraces me, like a loving mother.  This place accepts me no matter how I feel, whether I feel depressed, happy, sad, angry, or a combination of emotions.  This place does not place judgment, it only welcomes.
            


I make my way down towards the water, where my friends are bathing and resting.  No matter the circumstances, my friends always bring a smile to my face.  I admire their simple beauty, grace, and
ability to go with the flow of life.  They float on top of the water with
ease and then can glide through the sky, weightless.  A few ducks begin to walk up the little hill by the lake towards me, and I stand as still as possible, I don’t want to frighten them away.  They come within inches of me, as if welcoming me and extending their webbed feet in friendship.  This is an amazing moment.  I never stood so close to these ducks before, any ducks for that matter.  I feel truly grateful for their trust.  I wish I brought some bread to feed them.  I make a mental note to bring some a long next time.  I want to give them something back, for all that they give me.


I notice most of the surrounding trees are bare, most of the leaves have fallen on the ground.  Winter is coming.  My life seems to change with the seasons.  My heart feels lighter, my mind more at ease.  The leaves crunch beneath my feet.  The trees part with their leaves with little resistance.  They realize losing their leaves is part of the process.  I know the less resistance I hold to change in my life, the more peace I will gain. Change is inevitable, and it is a vital part in the growth process.      

                

Sunday, November 3, 2013

Entry #5-The Present Moment

Date- Thursday October 31, 2013
Time- 2:13 PM
Weather- Partly sunny, cool, a little breezy



Your outer journey may contain a million steps; your inner journey only has one: the step you are taking right now.”
― Eckhart TolleThe Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment

     I take a seat on my familiar bench underneath a tree decorated with colorful leaves in deep colors of orange, yellow, and red.  As I take in the beauty surrounding me, I reflect on the importance of spirituality in my life.  I realize that nature already lives these spiritual principles that I strive so hard to incorporate into my daily life, such as living in the moment and trying to gain control over the incessant chattering in my mind.   

The bright leaves
     I think about one of the most powerful books I read called The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle.  Eckhart Tolle is a spiritual teacher who does not identify with any particular faith.  He reminds us of the truth that we already know, it's just that our minds are making too much noise to hear it.  We are more than the incessant thinking of our minds.  I can listen to the "voice in my head" and observe how it makes judgments, has likes and dislikes, compares, and constantly retreats to the past or jumps into the future.  
 
View of the lake 
     What happens to the present moment?  Can I just sit on this bench and be here, only here, as fully as possible? 

All of the worries and to-do lists of the day run through my head for a few moments, but I then remember the wisdom passed on to me.  I use a few techniques I learned from The Power of Now, such as focusing on my breath and on every detail of my surroundings.  I close my eyes and take a deep, cleansing breath and exhale fully.  I imagine exhaling all the worries, fears, projections, the past and the future into the cool, clean crisp fall air.  The only thing that remains is the present.

       I notice the family of ducks sitting by the edge of the lake.  I decide to move a little closer to observe. The ducks become my teachers in this moment, of how to bask in the moment, enjoying the here and now. Two of the ducks take a little nap while the others are relaxing by the water or taking a little swim.  I move up a little closer, trying not to make too much noise and wake them.  I feel welcomed, trusted, and deeply grateful for them to allow me to enter their world. 
Two sleeping ducks


      I am amazed how close I am, and how the two ducks sleep in perfect peace even though a human is right beside them.  I think of how ducks must sense danger in order to protect themselves, it is an instinct.  I smile because I know they can sense that I am not a threat, that I come in peace, curiosity, and love.  

     The two ducks who are sleeping are mainly gray in color, but some of the other ducks have a bright blue or green velvety patch of color on their heads.  The colors are striking and beautiful.  The ducks believe "less is more" concerning accessories, their natural beauty is enough, it is more breathtaking than diamonds and rubies. 
The family of ducks

      As I make my way a little closer, the two sleeping ducks open their eyes for a brief moment, just to check things out, but then close them quickly, returning to their afternoon nap, knowing all is well in their world.  One of the ducks begins to make loud sounds, I wish I knew what he or she was saying, but it must have not been that important because the two ducks did not even bother to open their eyes to check it out.                                                                          
The beautiful ducks
     The one duck continues to loudly vocalize his or her thoughts or feelings, and begins to rouse the others.  All of a sudden, they all begin to move towards the left part of the lake, some swimming, some flying, and some waddling.  I did not know what was beckoning them, but something was. They were in the moment, moving with the soft flow of life. I am sure they didn't think about whether to get up and move, they just did it.  They just moved on to their next adventure, their next moment in life.